Modern-Day Etiquette - Part I: The Cellphone

Cellphone are wonderful inventions. It's true! You can be in contact with other human beings at the touch of a button--from nearly any (moderately civilized) location. Never before has communication been so widespread, and have been able to come together so efficiently. They have revolutionized business, with transactions happening instantaneously. They have revolutionized personal relationships, with low, often free, long-distance rates, people all over the country can keep in touch on a more personal level more often. Cellphones may have been one of the most influential inventions of our time.

That being said, and like so many wonderful and useful technological breakthroughs that have came before, cellphones are perhaps the most abused bit of technology in the world today.

There was a time when being nice to each other was important. There was even a term coined for this idea: etiquette. (From Dictionary.com) Etiquette; n. rules governing socially acceptable behavior. It wasn't that they were necessarily rules to be rigidly obeyed, but etiquette describes several ways of behaving in public that, in general, offends as few people as possible. It seems in today's materialistic and individualistic society that "other people's feelings" are no longer of any concern. Now, now, I know what you're thinking; 'He's one of the those political-correctness freaks, isn't he?' Not at all. I'm not talking about how we should publicly treat massive groups of people. In fact, I think the whole PC craze has gone way too far. I'm simply talking about how we, as individuals, can and should deal with each other. After all, don't you think it's funny that in this age of PC-ness, you hear more complaints than ever about individual encounters?

Like with cellphones.

Please, before we go any further, know that I too have a cellphone. I carry it with me at all times. However, very few people know that I have a cellphone, as I have created a little list of rules for myself on when it is, and more importantly is not, appropriate to use it.

And so I'm writing a modern-day etiquette guide, in parts, to help alleviate the social tensions of the world we live in, starting with cellphones. Who knows where it'll go from here, but I'll take any suggestions I recieve. I offer you now the first installment.

Modern-Day Etiquette - Part I: The Cellphone

Proper etiquette of the cellphone includes the following:
1) Avoidance of excessive noise.
2) Respect of privacy (i) People not on the phone.
3) Respect of pricacy (ii) People on the phone.
4) A good cellphone is neither heard nor seen.

1) Avoidance of excessive noise.
This is first and foremost among cellphone etiquette. Many people are coming to realize that the cellphone going off at the movie, theatre, concert, etc. is a nuisance, and so they are beginning to be more apt to turn off their phones during these events. This is, needless to say, highly encouraged. Yet, it is possible to go further for the benefit of others' peace of mind.

Most cellphones are equipped with a 'vibrate' function to alert you of incoming calls, messages, etc. This function should be used whenever possible. Men generally keep their cellphones in their pockets or on belt clips, and this ideal for the 'vibrate' function. Women may sometimes find it unavoidable to keep their phones on their person and may opt to carry it in a purse or handbag. If this is the case, and it is absolutely necessary that they be reachable by phone, they may turn on the audible ringer. However, its volume should be set such that the person carrying it can hear it but people not immediately next to that person cannot. They should also silence the phone's ringer as soon as they can so as to minimize the effect it has on others.

This also applies to setting your 'ringtones' and such. Under no circumstances should this be done in public. If it is necessary to choose among different 'tones' for one's phone, one should most certainly perform this task in the privacy of ones home and not in public places.

2) Respect of privacy. (People not on the phone.)
This may seem like common sense, but somehow people ignore it. When someone is on the phone, they are in a private conversation between them and the person on the other end of the line. It is quite inappropriate to 'listen in' to their conversation. Reacting to things said is even more rude, and indicates to the person just how rude of a person is the one reacting. However, and this must be stressed, the next two points apply at all time to the person on the phone, and they should be considered equally, if not more so, important.

3) Respect of privacy. (People on the phone.)
Just as you would not necessarily want to hear all the details of the conversation next to you in a restaurant, so do many people not want to hear all the details of a cellphone conversation. Remember, a phone call is a private conversation between you and person on the other end of the line. It is disrespectful to the person with whom you are speaking to be broadcasting details of your conversation loudly in a public place. It is equally disrespectful to yourself. If, for example, you were having a difficult phone call at home on a conventional telephone, you might close the door to the room you are in for privacy. The same ought to hold true of cellphone conversations. They are your conversations, not those of everyone around you. Keep them to yourself.

4) A good cellphone is neither heard nor seen.
This goes hand-in-hand with all the above. In general, people around you should not know you have a cellphone. They should not hear it ring, and they should not see it openly. Caution should be used when deciding whether to answer a call. If you are engaged in some activity or social function, it is probably not a good idea to answer the phone. Answering a call at the dinner table is a good example of when it is best to not answer it, either ignoring it if it is vibrating, or silencing it quickly if it is ringing. Sometimes, however, a call simply must be taken, and that is understandable. If possible, politely excuse yourself from your company. Find as private a place as possible, such as the corner of a room, or outside of the room you were in, or a quiet place outside where there are as few people around as possible. Speak quietly into your phone. The microphone is right next to your mouth, and there is no need to speak any more loudly than is necessary for your sounds to reach it. And above all, conversations in public places should be as brief as possible. It is perfectly acceptable to ask someone if you can call them back at a later time. After all, if you had a conventional phone, they would have had to leave a message at your home.

Cellphones are useful tools, and a wonderful way for people to keep in touch with other people. However, like all things, a certain degree of moderation should apply to their usage. This will help everyone get along better, and will reduce the complaints and general frustration of many.

Ballroom in Beantown

This past weekend was a ballroom competition at MIT up in Boston. Fortunately, the competition was primarily in the mornings, so I had evenings to wander around the city. I remember the very first time I went to Boston thinking how huge and busy the city was. Now, after living in New York for a while, Boston seems so little, and almost empty. Please don't misunderstand, it is a beautiful city (all that Jacobsville sandstone....ah, takes me back to the UP, except for the whole urban part....). It's just that I was walking downtown on Friday night and the sidewalks were empty, restaurants were quiet, and there weren't even any police or fire sirens. It gave me quite an eerie feeling to be in such an urban area that was so obviously not as densely populated as it looked. Ah, New York, look how you've jaded me. (I don't mind.)

The weekend was nice, after all. My partner and I did well in the competition, winning 4th place in Waltz, 3rd in Quickstep, and 2nd in Viennese Waltz, out of 96 couples. Since it was at MIT, I got to visit an old friend and Brother who is now a grad student there in physics. We went to see Sin City, which was well worth it. Even if you don't care for violence, or want a plot that is profound and intricate, go see it anyway. It is so visually stunning that it simply cannot be missed.

And now it is back to the proverbial grind. Proposals to write, homework sets to finish, and of course, research to eventually find time for. The end of the semester is on the horizon, though, I just have to make it there. Then I have all summer to work on nothing but research--how wonderful that will be!

I've had "Barrett's Privateers" in my head for three days now, as well. If you don't know the song, you should. If you do know the song, then you surely must know how much I miss Thursday nights at the Ramada in Houghton....