Round 4: License to Ki--er, Drive

In a bold move that is seemingly against all they stand for, the bureaucracies of Michigan and New York have worked. The Michigan SoS did in fact send me a record of my license that proves how long I've had it. And the New York DMV actually aceepted it without question. So all that remained to do was wait in line. And wait I did, but in the end, I walked out the door with my head held high and a temporary New York driver's license in my hand.

Admittedly, I won't be completely breathing easy until the permanent license finds its way to me. But for the time being, I'm thankful for small victories.

Andrew: 1 DMV: 3

Round 3: Pinch Hitting for #11 New York DMV, is #26 Michigan SoS

So I find myself wondering, where is this record the Michigan Secretary of State is supposed to be mailing me?

I call up the SoS to find out what the deal is. Turns out that whoever I'd talked to before was on a substantial amount of drugs at the time. There was no record of my call. And even if there was, they couldn't send me the report, they could only send me the application for the report. I still have to pay $8 before they'll print the report and send it. So they faxed the application to me, and I faxed it back to them.

$8 poorer, and still waiting.

Andrew: 0 DMV: 3

Round 2: Andrew vs. The Department of Motor Vehicles for the State of New York

I received a present in the mail two days ago. A brand new, shiny (figuratively, of course, it's not actually shiny as it's not laminated) social security card. And for those of you wondering, nowhere on the card or on any documentation that came with the card does it tell you not to laminate the card.

So there.

Yesterday I took my new present to show the nice folks at the DMV. They were pleased, and the young man behind the counter and I joked about the silliness of denying my old social security card. Suddenly, though, his demeanor changed, and he stopped laughing. I continued for a bit, not realizing I was the only person in the DMV with a smile on my face. With a tone of genuine pity, he informed me that my now-expired Michigan license did not display the date it was issued to me. New York, you see, requires you to prove that you've had your license for more the six months. Other states on the east coast print the date of issue right on the license, so it's not usually a problem, but....

So, after a quick phone call to the Michigan Secretary of State, I am once again waiting for the mailman to bring me the ticket to driving legally. This time, it's a record from Michigan that states how long I've had my license.

I do understand the need to have complete records, and I do understand that different states have different requirements. What I do not understand is why the lady who looked at my documents the first time failed to mention this second issue. What I do not understand is why I had to stand in line, wait, and be late for work a second time, only to be assured that I'd have to come back a third time.

I'll get you next time, DMV, next time!

Andrew: 0 DMV: 2

Andrew vs. The Department of Motor Vehicles for the State of New York

So my birthday is coming up next week -- yay!

So my driver's license expires on that day -- crap.

Fortunately, switching my old Michigan license over to a New York license is a simple matter of filling out a form, getting my picture taken, and waiting for it to show up in the mail. To save time, I go to the DMV website and print out the form. I gather up my passport, social security card, notarized birth certificate, $300 in gold-pressed doubloons, deed to my soul, deed to my first born child, and Michigan driver's license, and head on down to the nearest DMV twenty minutes before they open in the morning.

Upon arrival, I find the line is down the hall, down the stairs, and out the door. And they haven't even opened the doors for business yet. I stand for a while, when someone asks me what I'm "in" for. In for? Whatever could he mean? He explains that he was ticketed for running a red light, but the light wasn't actually red, you see....and so on. It's then that I see the large, yellow sign with bold black print, "Traffic Violations Bureau."

It's a short walk two blocks down the street to the actual DMV office. I get there right about 8:30am when the doors open. The line is shorter than the last, but I'm still roughly the 30th person in line. The doors open, we all file in....and wait....to get to the desk of the person who tells us where to go next. I get there after a nice long while, and show them my completed application, and they send me over to the person who takes the pictures. I wait in that line for a while, and finally get up to that desk. I hand over my application, all my documents, and step over in front of the picture back-drop. The women behind the counter looks up at me, sighs, and calls me over. She holds up my social security card and shakes her head.

My social security card is laminated. Back in the good old days, when I was too young to have a driver's license, I crossed the border into Canada with my social security card. That was all you needed then--and they hardly ever asked for it. In order to keep it intact, my mom suggested I laminate it, which I did. It's just a piece of paper, after all.

The great state of New York does not accept documents that have been altered, and lamination counts as alteration. After all that time waiting, I was turned away. Now I have to go to the social security office to get a new card before I can go back to the DMV to get a new license. And there is no way that the social security card will arrive before my current license expires. Thank goodness I never drive in New York!

Andrew: 0 DMV: 1