Andrew vs. The Department of Motor Vehicles for the State of New York

So my birthday is coming up next week -- yay!

So my driver's license expires on that day -- crap.

Fortunately, switching my old Michigan license over to a New York license is a simple matter of filling out a form, getting my picture taken, and waiting for it to show up in the mail. To save time, I go to the DMV website and print out the form. I gather up my passport, social security card, notarized birth certificate, $300 in gold-pressed doubloons, deed to my soul, deed to my first born child, and Michigan driver's license, and head on down to the nearest DMV twenty minutes before they open in the morning.

Upon arrival, I find the line is down the hall, down the stairs, and out the door. And they haven't even opened the doors for business yet. I stand for a while, when someone asks me what I'm "in" for. In for? Whatever could he mean? He explains that he was ticketed for running a red light, but the light wasn't actually red, you see....and so on. It's then that I see the large, yellow sign with bold black print, "Traffic Violations Bureau."

It's a short walk two blocks down the street to the actual DMV office. I get there right about 8:30am when the doors open. The line is shorter than the last, but I'm still roughly the 30th person in line. The doors open, we all file in....and wait....to get to the desk of the person who tells us where to go next. I get there after a nice long while, and show them my completed application, and they send me over to the person who takes the pictures. I wait in that line for a while, and finally get up to that desk. I hand over my application, all my documents, and step over in front of the picture back-drop. The women behind the counter looks up at me, sighs, and calls me over. She holds up my social security card and shakes her head.

My social security card is laminated. Back in the good old days, when I was too young to have a driver's license, I crossed the border into Canada with my social security card. That was all you needed then--and they hardly ever asked for it. In order to keep it intact, my mom suggested I laminate it, which I did. It's just a piece of paper, after all.

The great state of New York does not accept documents that have been altered, and lamination counts as alteration. After all that time waiting, I was turned away. Now I have to go to the social security office to get a new card before I can go back to the DMV to get a new license. And there is no way that the social security card will arrive before my current license expires. Thank goodness I never drive in New York!

Andrew: 0 DMV: 1