Obituary

Tyche, beloved laptop, was pronounced dead at 1:04pm Monday October 24th after a four-day struggle to recover her memory. Late in the evening on the previous Wednesday, Tyche slipped in unconsciousness for reasons not readily apparent. Upon arrival home, her caretaker Andrew found her sitting on the desk in an endless loop of trying to revive herself. He tried everything he knew, but in the end he had to just let her to sleep.

She lay there on the desk, in a coma, until Friday when a doctor was able to come to her home and see her. He tried to revive her with Knoppix, no success. He tried to revive her with his laptop, no success. He finally performed open-brain surgery and removed her hard drive. Connecting her brain to his computer, he found her completely unable to awaken. Finally, he suggested taking her drive back to his lab, to employ more serious resources.

After more than eighteen hours of work, and as her body lay brainless at home,he had results. Her drive was unalterably corrupted, she was going to die. But as she lay in her death throes on the lab bench, he was able to recover her memories, all 30GB of it, and burn it to nine DVD's. At 1:04pm this afternoon, her memories and her still and silent brain were returned to the care of Andrew. She was pronounced officially dead at that time.

Tyche is survived by Andrew, her grieving caretaker, and by her older brother Nemesis, an aging PC who, growing senile and feeble, has retired to the Catskill mountains to live out his days. She will be sorely missed by many for the seemingly infinite supply of music she was always willing to share. Fortunately, her memories remain and can be transplanted into future laptops. In a way, she will live forever.